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Negative Emotions

Genesis 4

² And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.

³ And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD.

⁴ And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:

⁵ But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

⁶ And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

⁷ If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

⁸ And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.

When we read the account of Cain and Abel, the first thing that may cross our mind is that God shows favoritism. However, upon careful examination of this passage, we see that this is not at all the case. God did not accept Abel over Cain because He preferred shepherds over farmers, or because He loved Abel more than Cain. It was that Abel put God first in his life.

Abel showed that he put God first in his life by offering the better gift than Cain. However, God was not only looking at the gift, but also at the condition of their hearts ("God loves a cheerful giver" 2 Corinthians 9:7). God saw that within Cain's heart there was envy, anger, and possibly resentment, among other negative emotions. After God warned Abel that the potential to give in to anger that leads to sin was very great, rather than rectify his attitude, Cain hardened his heart and committed murder.

We must always deal with negative emotions quickly. When the Holy Spirit brings something to our mind (an ungodly attitude of any kind, anger, a streak of envy, etc.) we must take heed to this warning, and with His help, seek to rectify the problem, so that unlike Cain, we will not harden our hearts and allow bitterness, anger and/or envy to destroy us or another person.

Dealing with Negative Emotions

By harboring anger, envy, and/or resentment, Cain so hardened his heart that he committed murder. When confronted by God that he needed to rectify the condition of his heart, we saw that he did not take heed. So the question is, how do we take heed to God and overcome anger, resentment, or bitterness that may be buried in our hearts? Philippians chapter one, verse 9 says:

Philippians 1

⁹ And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment...

Paul's prayer for us, among other things, is that our love would grow more and more. How do we love someone who has wronged or hurt us? How about someone who may not necessarily have done anything to us, but someone that we dislike or feel envy towards? Love is a choice, rather than an emotion, it's an action, rather than a feeling. Loving those who wrong or hurt us is a choice we make, and we can carry out that choice with the help of Jesus Christ.

Next, look at verse 6:

Philippians 1

⁶ Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ...

When someone receives Jesus Christ as their Saviour, God begins performing "a good work" within the heart of that believer. Pray and ask God to reveal His Son, Jesus Christ, in the heart of the person you are angry with. If that person is already a believer in Christ, ask the Lord to continue "the good work which God hath begun" in him or her.

Over time, not only will God respond favorably to this prayer, but your attitude and feelings toward the person you are in conflict with will change as well. Prayer changes hearts.

Next, we must imitate Christ's humility.

Philippians 4

⁵ Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
⁷ But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

⁸ And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

The Bible teaches that we must become like servants. We must ask ourselves how we can serve the person we are at odds with, rather than harbor ill-will:

Philippians 2

³ Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Humbly take an interest in the person's life. Be aware that this person may have been deeply hurt or wounded at some point in life and may not know how to reach out to God or receive healing from Him. Rather than hold a grudge, harbor anger and animosity, "esteem them" and pray for their well-being. You can ask the Lord to reveal Himself to him/her in a powerful, life-changing way. Perhaps this person needs a real life-changing experience with the Lord.

Diligent and Persistent Prayer

Pray consistently for healing and restoration of a relationship.

In Luke 18:1, Jesus tells us that we should "always pray and not faint" (give up). When we persistently pray for healing of wounded emotions and damaged relationships, we find our hearts begin to soften and we can be confident that God is working in us, as well as the person we are praying for.

Remove All Areas of Sin from Your Life

Psalm 66:18 states, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me." This means in order for the Lord to even hear our prayers and respond to them, we must remove every known area of sin in our own lives so that He will hear our prayers.

Faith and Belief that God Will Answer

The Bible says, "But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6). In order to please God, we must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek and obey Him. Acting out in anger brings momentary "relief" but can cause harm to yourself or others. Obedience to God brings lasting peace and reward. Remember - harboring bitterness, anger, or resentment - no matter how justified you may feel - is not pleasing in God's sight, nor does it bring about the righteousness of God:

James 1

²⁰ For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

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